I hate laundry, but i am determined to make this a good post.
I’m not so good at it either. It is pretty ironic that they day I plan on publishing my post on laundry is the day after I accidentally dyed a whole load of kitchen linens ‘titty pink’ by washing four brand new, bright red (on clearance!) napkins with them. Then drying them. On high. It was late when I switched the load and I guess I wasn’t paying attention. whoopsie.
At least it wasn’t hubby’s work shirts!
The only thing worse than doing laundry is thinking about it.
But I do. All the time. Like 2 or 3 loads worth a day. Notice I did not say I do 2-3 loads a day, that is just how much I should be doing to keep up with the flow. Which I rarely do. I always end up throwing in a load of clothes or diapers only to forget about it till the next day. Not good news in a front loader. They get stinky if you do that. And then it makes your clothes stink. Not at first when you put them on, but once you have had them on a while and your body starts to heat them up, they become wretched. Like a wet dog who shat then puked all over himself after rolling in a long dead skunk. I mean evil Bad NASTY.
Solved that problem using three affresh cleaning tablets in there (yes, all at once it was that bad) to clean the machine then every stinky load got a long cold soak in oxy-clean followed by a heavy duty cycle with a prewash and extra rinse.
Now if I could only have my washer and dryer next to each other and I’d have it made! Don’t ask me why they are across the basement from one another, has something to do with plumbing. I have no clue why the previous owner set it up that way. Yet another thing that reminds me of just how monumentally dumb this guy was.
I admit, having a fancy schmancy high efficiency washer (relax, I got it scratch & dent so I got a good deal on it) makes laundry a little more tolerable. It makes nice beeps and boops when I push the buttons, a pleasant signal beep when it is done (yeah – i’m simple like that), and it cleans more clothes, better, with less water and detergent. It also has a good range of cycles all the way from hand wash to sanitize. It can even fit my king comforter with room to spare on the bulky items setting. But you have to leave it open so it don’t get ‘dat funk’ and you have to use more expensive h.e. detergent.
These h.e. detergents are specially formulated to be low sudsing and quick rinsing. Meaning, they can suspend the dirt particles and rinse them away with much less water than standard formulas. If you use regular detergent in a h.e. machine for a long time, you will burn out the bearings faster from the machine having to run multiple extra rinse cycles to clear all those suds. The suds also cushion the tumbling cleaning action so the water cannot be driven through the clothing properly. You then end up with permanently dirty clothes from the not fully rinsed detergent and dirt not being rinsed away cycle after cycle. Yuck. You are then one of the great unwashed.
Most commercial powder laundry detergents contain sand as a filler (!) and can have things like phosphates, enzymes and optical brighteners. Sand is not good for your clothing or your washer for obvious reasons. Phosphates are harmful aquatic life, but they really do clean well. Enzymes are great for stains and odors, but if not thoroughly rinsed, may irritate skin. Optical Brighteners do just that, they brighten colors by leaving a residue on fabrics. Optical brighteners are part of the reason clothing glows under a black light. Not really bad, just unnecessary imho. Commercial liquid laundry detergents can contain enzymes, phosphates and optical brighteners as well as a good amount of water (even the super concentrated ones) which is heavy to ship and harder to store.
Sooo…
I use my own homemade (suprise!) laundry soap (not detergent) against the advice of the manufacturer. I figure it’s my machine and I’ll do what I want with it. My formula is low sudsing and quick rinsing. It dissolves pretty well in cold water if it is ground really fine. It leaves a minuscule amount of soap residue in the clothing which actually keeps them softer, and acts as a barrier against dirt. That is, the dirt lands on the soap residue, not the clothing so it washes out easier. It also eliminates the need for fabric softeners in all but the most staticky loads, like those really soft fuzzy acrylic blankets, or fleecey stuff. I don’t actually use too many wax based dryer sheets, I use these static eliminator sheets. They do not work quite as well as the wax ones, but they don’t smell and they don’t leave waxy residue on towels that can affect their absorbency. I hate drying myself or trying to wipe up a spill when the towel doesn’t absorb anything! Best part with homemade laundry soap and static eliminator sheets is that clothes actually smell like clothes. Not mountain air or fake ass flowers, but clean, fresh, clothes. ahhhhhhh.
This is the recipe that I use, but there are more here.
Homemade Laundry Soap
12 cups Borax
8 cups Baking Soda
8 cups Washing Soda (sodium carbonate)
8 cups ivory soap (grated)
- Mix all ingredients well and store in a sealed tub.
- Use 1, 2 or 3 T per load for he machine (+/-1/8 c for top loader) depending upon size and nastyness of the load.
I use my bad ass 12 cup Kitchen Aid food processor to grate the bars of soap and then combine all the ingredients together, in batches, till they are a fine even powder using the chopping blade. The finer and better mixed it is, the better it dissolves. I would not try this with a wimpy food processor, mine is pretty powerful and has a large capacity. It is a bit messy because of the powder puffing up and it takes 8-10 rounds to get it all well mixed and fine. I use the pulse button till it lookS right. You really should use a mask for this, (cough cough), but i’m a dumbass (cough cough) and forgot so I didn’t. (cough cough) don’t worry, the kids were in bed. (cough cough). And yes, I still use the processor for food. It’s just soap, it rinses right off. I actually did mine by weight last time, (converted from cups) but of course I lost the paper I wrote it down on.
I make a quadruple recipe and store it in a ziploc big bag inside a large trash bag inside a cat litter bucket. I dump it all in one of those big bags to mix thoroughly it without all the dust flying around. It costs about $50 for that size batch and I’m thinking it’ll last about a year.
I still use boosters such as oxy-clean, bleach, Borax or Bac-out if needed. My whites sometimes need a boost, so i use oxy-clean or bleach for that every few loads.
I get the washing soda in the pool chemical section of Target. It is used in pools to raise PH. It is also called 100% sodium carbonate. Make sure it says 100% – if it has inert ingredients listed (the brand sold at wal mart has 1% inert ingredients) don’t get it. I’m not even sure what the inert ingredients are so I wouldn’t use it. If you are planning to make a buttload of this laundry soap it may be cheaper to get it at a pool supply store in a big bucket. I buy the baking soda at BJ’s in the big bag, It’s the cheapest I’ve seen. I get the Borax at Target too, in the laundry aisle. Borax is a very mild bleach and it may lighten your darker laundry. It lightens our black tee shirts (knits – they’re tee shirts, who cares) a bit, but Phil’s work shirts (Polos and ‘work shirt’ permanant press type material), jeans, sweats, etc. seem to be fine.
Diapers are washed with probably the best laundry detergent I’ve used, Allen’s Naturally. I prefer the liquid version of this. Free of scents and dyes, enzymes, phosphates, optical brighteners. This stuff is great for diapers because it does not leave any residue at all to impede absorption. I’d use this stuff for all my laundry if I could, but it is a bit too pricey for me. I just got a gallon and it has 512 he loads, should last me till Garrett’s out of diapers. You cannot buy it in any stores around here, it has to be shipped which makes it more expensive. It is worth it. Other detergents don’t clean the dipes as well in our hard water and the other good one gives Garrett a horrible diaper rash.
When the laundry eventually makes it’s way to the basement I make 9 piles.
jeans & other similar heavy fabrics – normal setting unless they are really grungy, then i use heavy duty
dark knits (Phil’s work shirts, dark tee shirts, dark sweats) – normal
socks, kids undies & other whites to be brightened/de-funked – whitest whites ~ this load gets oxy-clean, sometimes bleach.
bright colored knits – normal
bath towels, mats, washcloths, hand towels – heavy duty or sanitize depending upon how filthy they are.
bed linens – bulky items
diapers 3-4x week – sanitize (carried down in their own bag – I don’t even have to touch the dirties, just turn the bag inside out into the washer)
kitchen linens – 2x week – sanitize (hand towels, terry washcloths, rags, aprons, cloth napkins & placemats)
delicates – hand wash (bras, undies)
Stain removal is easy! Be a slacker at it like me!
I only attempt to rescue nice looking pieces. Kids are supposed to be dirty, Locksmiths bring home all kinds of grease & dirt, I stay at home most of the time and get dirty. I see no need to waste my time and sanity on stain removal when we are all so hard on our clothes anyway. The odds are dead set against me in the stain removal game. That being said, if it is a nice piece, still in good shape, I may attempt to rescue it. I’ll wet the stain with cold water (hot water sets most stains) and scrub in some laundry soap, maybe oxy-clean, Stain stick, Borax, or bac-out depending upon the stain.Then into the wash it goes. If the stain is still thereafter one wash, I treat again, then wash again. Don’t dry it until you’ve gotten all of the stain out, the dryer will set a stain and make it permanent.
I do keep some decent looking clothes in reserves for the occasion we all need to look presentable. Most of our clothes are what my mom used to call ‘play clothes’ lol. Simple, remember? It fits our lifestyle best.
As for mending, I usually toss the garment that needs fixing in a pile of stuff ‘to be fixed’ and pull it out a few years later, at which point it no longer fits, the button has been lost or the hole has magically enlarged itself beyond repair. Then I hem and haw about having to throw away a perfectly good (read – only one button missing and a few spots – but no holes) pair of jeans. Then they end up back in the pile only to have the cycle repeat itself every few years. I have stuff in that pile that has been here since we got married in 2002. I just feel like I should be doing something with them. I can compost the stuff that is 100% cotton, but that’s about it. I have read about old jeans being used to insulate homes. My house is really drafty. hmmmmmm, maybe they should go back into the pile!
Ironing – What’s an iron? LMAO! Actually, I do have one, and a board too, but they are buried in the back of the basement. I suck horribly at ironing. I always end up with double creases or manage to scorch things. Don’t really need to iron that much so it’s not a big deal. Hubby’s work shirts are all permanent press or polos. Me and the kids don’t wear stuff that requires ironing but maybe once a year. I’d make a really crappy wife to somebody who had to wear suits and dress shirts every day. If I really take my time, I can do an adequate job. But who has that kind of time with two kids? Ironing is not a good area to take my advice on at all. ever.
Throw a wet washcloth in the dryer with the wrinkled clothes on medium for a few minutes. POOF! wrinkles gone! You could also cheat like I do sometimes and use a steamer on bigger stuff. No need to dig out the iron!
Folding is another area that I highly recommend you turn elsewhere for advice. Phil does most of the folding in this house.
I have a big problem folding things. I am severely folding impaired. I am so bad at folding things, that my basket of folded clothes has been mistaken for dirty and taken back down to wash on more than one occasion. You figure somebody who has a homemaking blog would be able to fold a simple pair of pants, but alas, my folding abilities only extend to things that are square or rectangle. I can fold the shit out of some towels, even tee shirts because they are just rectangles with other little rectangles attached to the sides, but add long arms or legs to the equation and I fail miserably. Once again, I am glad I did not marry a business suit type, he would look like crap going in to work all wrinkled and disheveled due to my complete lack of ironing and folding skills.
I do have a bit of an excuse for not folding now though. I was in a car accident about four years ago and have a condition called thoracic outlet syndrome. This cause my fingers, hands and part of my arm on both sides to go pretty much completely numb when I hold them up for more than a minute or so. Four years of arm numbness, however, does not excuse a lifetime of never folding anything properly and never bothering to learn. 
One day I may try to learn how to iron and fold properly, and of course you will get to laugh at me as I screw up time after time if I do. Not sure I really want to bother though. It’s just not that important to me right now when I have so many other things going on in my life.
Sometimes, If the stars and moon are aligned, and the music is right, laundry actually gets put away. This does not happen as often as I would like, however on occasion, I actually get ‘caught up’ with laundry. I could not get this far without my husband’s assistance.
This post (and this blog in part) was actually inspired by an old friend Kelly who posted on her facebook page that after 31 years, she had finally learned to fold a fitted sheet. A small thing really, but people really responded positively to the post. It made me really realize that our generation, unlike our mothers and grandmothers, were not taught the basics of housekeeping, we kinda had to learn on our own, or make it up as we went along. Most of us probably didn’t even really care because we figured that we’d be out in the working world anyway. Why bother to cook when foods can be put from box to oven to mouth so easily? Why bother to make a Halloween costume when you can just buy one?
Then we started to think about it and realize that we wanted to go the opposite direction various reasons. Part of my reason for attempting to rediscover these things is pride in my job. Seeing my kid beam with pride when he got told over and over again that he had the coolest Halloween costume in the whole neighborhood was amazing. The other part is purely from a practical standpoint. How can we nurture growing bodies and brains on the lifeless foods that come from packages? and why are we spending more money to do it?
These little things like how to fold a fitted sheet or even how to bake bread or make a meal that didn’t come out of a box have become somewhat of a lost art. So really – who cares whether your fitted sheets are folded? Does it really matter? Not to me, I’ll probably never be a sheet folder, I just kinda fold them the best I can and put them with the other sheets in a plastic box under the bed. But to some people, things like that are important. Just like things like baking bread are to me. The point is that Kelly made the effort to learn this little lost art and it made her proud enough to want to share. It makes her home a better place for her and her family. Some of the people who responded to the post said that they didn’t know how to do it and would like to learn, so the desire to make home a nicer place is still there. I think that’s awesome. I am so glad to see that people are still interested in doing things like that.
I am looking forward to inspiring people to rediscover the simple things in homemaking.
Shine On!
. Not to mention Garrett can’t even have milk, so if I have it on my lips and then kiss him, he may get a rash. There is also a good possibility that he could knock it out of my hand while I’m wrangling him back into the seat (no cupholders like Wegmans 
)or, even worse distract me enough (not too hard to do w/my add- ooh look something shiny!) to take a drink. It’s stressful enough that I don’t do it often.
